I really like the beginning line. How did they come to this conclusion? I am immediately interested in reading the rest of your introduction.
I love that you keep asserting the same thing- that the English have no imagination. It keeps the reader interested in just why the main character believes that.
This is a really cool intro, and really sets up for a cool storybook! The image is great too, and really allows me to better depict the characters and the scenery. I love this period of time and I think there are a lot of cool things you could do with it!
The only suggestion I would make is about the layout of the site- it's kind of hard to read the words because of the font style and size. I like that the style goes with the theme of the story, though, so maybe play around and see if there is a similar font with better readability!
I love the opening line here and how you continue to tie it in throughout your story. It gives good initial desire to read the story and then continues to show up throughout the story reminding us of the reason we're reading it. There was very good description throughout the story and you made the tavern come to life in your words. A few suggestions I would give are first; I might add a little more length to a few of your paragraphs just to give more description within each one. This will add to the story and give your reader a better imagination as to what is happening. Also the format of the story made it very difficult to read. I understand what you are doing because it definitely fits the story, but for the sake of the reader I might change it to make it easier on our eyes. Overall I loved the story and think it can become even better if you make a few little changes.
Hey Maria, I really like the setup of your story book. Out of the ones I have seen so far yours really uses the background and general setup of the website to tie into the theme of your story book. One thing I found especially interesting about your setup was how your introduction was not straight forward in its description. It was neat how you jumped right into the style of writing for this theme. I also liked the details you specifically listed throughout the introduction about what the setting might look like. For example, the game of blackjack occurring in the corner was something that I could really imagine. Once, I read through the introduction I was able to fully see the potential of this storybook and where you are going to be able to take it. Lastly, I think once readers understand the introduction it will help set the frame work for imagining the plot and setting of future stories. Thanks for sharing and I am interested to see how this storybook progresses in the future.
Hi Maria, I think you did a really good job writing this introduction. I like how you continued to restate the theme throughout the introduction to get your point across. And I also really liked how you are telling the introduction through the first person instead of third person. It made me feel like I was going to be a part of the story. Something you did a really good job doing was making the introduction intentionally vague. It doesn't come right out and tell the reader exactly what to expect, it makes them think about it and figure it out themselves. The setup of your site is really cool! The images you used really portray what the story is going to be about, and the background reminds me of an old wooden inn. I think that your storybook will be very interesting and I can't wait to read your first story!
I like how you have the inn keeper recalling the events that transpire, it sets up a very clear storytelling structure for the reader. But, because we don't see the story through the eyes of an infallible narrator, you still have room to surprise the reader with things later on. I also like how you focus on describing the various types of people in the tavern. It makes since that the innkeeper would spend a lot of his day people watching, and you do a good job setting it up while he thinks about his end of day "listening" routine. Finally, your repetition of "The English have no imagination" is leading me to believe that some of the English people in this story are going to be shocked by something very soon.
Thanks so much for sharing, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. You have a great idea, good luck with finishing the rest of your storybook.
I really like how you took on a persona in your introduction. It gives it a lot of character right off the bat. It also reads more like the person is sitting here telling me the story instead of me reading the words. I am confused why he is saying that the English have no imagination. Maybe I just missed something. The idea of using an innkeeper to tell the stories is a really good idea!
I enjoyed reading your story a lot! I like your writing style and the way you described what was going on in the story. I was sad for the farmer too at first but I like how he got his things back and more in the end. I’m a fan of happy stories.
What if you wrote your stories like how you wrote your introduction? I think it would add another dimension to the story, especially if you wrote it with introjections from the innkeeper (kind of like in the movie Princess Bride). Overall, really good job! I’ll be back to read more!
Great introduction and story! In the introduction I loved how you kept the central theme throughout the story, “the English have no imagination.” It really helped your writing flow and tie-in what your story was about. It also helped to present the man that was doing the narration! It made me wonder how well this man knew Jack! Moving into your first story, I really liked how you presented the character of Jack! He reminded me of a trickster-younger brother, who was always getting into trouble. I liked how you had Jack show off his skills to his would-be “apprentices,” and then turned the tables on the men in the end. I thought it was a great ending and the perfect thing for a trickster, like Jack to do! I did not expect him to give the animals back to the farmer that was a nice surprised and presented Jack as a robin-hood character! I am interested to see what other adventures jack will get into throughout the stories!
The title of your storybook is incredible, It truly lured me in and peaked my interest! The introduction sets the tone of what the storybook is going to be about and it is the first time the reader gets a taste of what the author's voice and tonality is like. I believe you nailed it with the way you set the scene and in the word choices you strategically made. I enjoyed that you made the central character an innkeeper, if anyone is going to have an abundance of stories back in the day I would imagine it to be the innkeeper. No telling who is going to walk in.
Your first story presented the character of jack very well! As I continued reading I found myself wishing the story was expressed in the same manner as the introduction was. Your intro had such charm and charisma that I would encourage you to put into the rest of your stories!
Overall, incredible job! Looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Hi Maria! Your introduction was great. The layout of your blog made me think of an old pub (or an inn) with wooden walls and yellow decor. I thought your image choice was also very beneficial to the vibe of your storybook. As for the content of your introduction, I thought that was good too. The repetition of "the English have no imagination..." helped intrigue the reader as to why they had no imagination. I liked reading about the ongoings of the inn after hours and seeing how the innkeeper felt about what happened from day to day. I thought you also did a good job of leading into your first story by ending the introduction with a sort of cliff hanger/ start to a story about Jack the thief.
Your first story was great. I don't think your amateur abilities hindered the clarity of his cleverness at all. I was in awe of your word choice and I am grateful for the links to definitions of the words I didn't know. I thought you did a good job with the dialogue as well and I think it made the story even better. Since you wanted to tell the story of Jack and his bride, I wonder if you could take a spin off of that for your next story. I mean the innkeeper does say that all the adventurers are named Jack. I have no idea how your storybook is set to continue, it is just a suggested solution to that problem that you faced. Overall, I thought you did a good job with the story. There weren't any problems that I saw and I was thoroughly intrigued throughout its entirety. I know critical comments help make writing better, but I honestly can't think of any. Good Job!
I love your introduction. You drew me in right away with that first line. Simple but impactful. That's the kind of writing I like. You do a great job setting the scene for your storybook here. Everything from the layout you've chosen to your writing style paints a picture for the reader.
I really enjoyed the two stories you've added here as well. I don't think that retelling them in your own voice takes away from the original at all! It's fun to read things from different perspectives, and reading your version made me want to go back and read the original! I also like that your stories have a similar string tying them together but they aren't so involved with one another that it's impossible to enjoy them independently.
This is some great work, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it!
Maria I really liked the tone that you used throughout this story! The repetition of that same phrase was great and I thought it was interesting that you used the genuine terminology and just hyperlinked to the definition. It had a very professional retelling to it. Throughout the story and even in the introduction I had thought that Jack was going to be a cunning thief and be negative towards the world. I like that you chose instead to portray him as a cleve thief but with a heart of gold kind of like Aladdin! I did not expect for him to return the animals to the farmer and I hope that the rest of the stories in your storybook have plot twists at the end as well. It definitely juxtaposed the introduction where the narrator was saying that the English have no imagination and insulting that none of them were original. This was quite the opposite since Jack was very unoriginal in how he handled the whole situation.
Maria, As far as your introduction goes, I loved it! I think the way you repeated the phrase about the English having no imagination was brilliant. It was clever, and kept me hooked throughout! I also think it sets the tone for your stories really well. The tone you use throughout feels very genuine and in tune with the tales you tell, and your word choice is excellent! I think a lot of the quips you use in your story are really entertaining, like " though how many I couldn’t tell you, Jack having had the whitest hair I’ve ever seen." That gave me a good laugh! The appearance of your storybook is great as well. I think the color scheme is very fitting. Even your images fit this theme well, helping bring your theme together! I thoroughly enjoyed your story, and can't think of anything you might change! Good job; keep it up!
Wow, Maria! This is such a creative storybook. You are a terrific writer and really keep the audience drawn in the entire time. I really like your theme, too! The wooden background really makes it rustic and sets the tone well. I liked that you kept saying the English have no imagination. By the third time I read it I had definitely caught on! You are so creative. This is some of the most creative writing I have read in this class so far. I like how you portrayed Jack. He really is a jack of all trades! I think you have an awesome storybook so far. Your stories are captivating and keep the reader interested throughout all of the stories. This is also super random and not important, but I like how you space out your paragraphs. It makes it easier to read when it’s not all in one block! Haha not sure if that makes any sense at all. Great job!
I have to admit that your story is simply fantastic, you have very good skills of writing. I really liked that you add a lot of creativity in your writing, it makes the reading so much more interesting. It is also very nice to see all the descriptive details you add, it really makes me go into your story. It is very enjoyable to see how clever Jack is and how he was able to use his cleverness. One thing also I noticed was the layout of your storybooks, the quality and the color of your background makes it even more appealing. I feel this makes it look very organized and it puts your reader in very good conditions. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to your future story.
Ah, my gosh, you’ve got such a fun concept here. I love how you’ve taken something meta and grounded it with this grizzled innkeeper (whose voice is perfect, by the way), so it’s this sly wink that doesn’t distract from the stories themselves too much. The details in the introduction are spot-on, too: it was so easy to imagine the different types of people that passed through the inn. And the guy who told the same story seven times, with seven different endings? So, so great. I actually laughed out loud.
I was really excited to see that the narrator from the introduction would be telling all the stories, because I genuinely loved him. Cunning Jack was an actual joy to read about: you pulled off the fairytale “cycle of threes” trope really nicely, showing him trick everyone three different times without it feeling repetitive. Speaking of which, you did an excellent job of finding differently paced Jack stories, so each one feels fresh and none of them blur together. (Side note: Giant-Killing Jack is officially my hero, for his comeback right before he defeated the giant.) I’d never read anything like the setup for the third story, so your author’s note there was particularly interesting, and I love how Jack managed to best the farmer without actually disobeying him.
Anyways, it’s probably obvious, but I really enjoyed your storybook. The way the narrator is his own distinct character and ties all the stories together is very nice, and I’m a huge fan of all of the Jacks so far.
This is a really cool way to tell the stories AND a cool way to bring some stories together. I mean, bringing them together because of the main character's name? Way cool.
I really loved how you set up your Introduction. It really draws the reader in and sets up the manner in which you tell the stories nicely. There's really beautiful imagery; I can really see the bar he's describing. And your use of repetition is really quite nice. It adds a kind of beautiful literary element to this descriptive element you have going.
My first thought when I started to read the Cunning Thief story is that I wished there had been a little more go-between from the barkeep introduction to the storytelling. You have that really nice line at the end of your Introduction page that kind of teases at the Cunning Thief story, but I found myself wanting that at the beginning of the story, or something more there. However, you supply this quite nicely in the Giant Killer introduction, so maybe if it were in the Cunning Thief page as well it would be overdone.
Other than that, I think the voice from which you tell these stories is really nice. It's funny, witty and honestly refreshing. It kind of gives the reader another character to learn about without giving a description or storyline about him or her. I love this Storybook!
Your storybook is not only an interesting theme, but it is also a unique one. I have read a lot of storybooks that mainly revolve around a specific aspect of the storyteller’s life. I like that you picked a topic that was related to the readings of this class. First off, I want to say that I really like the physical appearance of your storybook. It relates well to your theme while also not being too busy or hard to read/follow. Second, I wanted to say that your writing is very impressive. It was funny, creative, and also very mature. You were able to add in humor, while also keeping the writing professional. You also kept it in the same style as the original story, which was nice. I also like that you added multiple pictures in the “Jack the Giant Killer” story so that the reader has a visual image of the giants in which the story is about.
Your stories are really very charming. I love them all. Although I agree with your author's note on the first one, I would have loved it if you had added a few more of your own twists and thoughts into it, but I honestly really liked the story the way it was. With the other two, it does appear you changed them up a bit more so I hope you're satisfied with them. They were very fun to read and very well written.
You said you weren't as impressed with the third story but really I think it was one of my favorites. I love your running theme of each Jack being someone who just outsmarts their own situations in a funny, clever way. It's really more entertaining than sword fighting and castle sieges I think.
Hey Maria I'm back and just got done reading Jack the Giant-Killer. Once again, I am amazed at how good you are at writing in the tone and style that was spoken back in those times. It makes the story sound so professional and authentic! Also, it was cool to read a story that i remember reading as a kid. I always love revisiting old fairytales and stories. Reading them as an adult opens your eyes to so many different aspects of the story that you may have missed as a kid. You did a good job keeping the pub owner as the narrator but also incorporating dialogue between Jack and the Giant. I never got confused he was speaking or what time frame the story was taking place in and that can be a hard thing to do. Quite frankly, I really don't have any critiques or things I would change about your story. The only thing was that it was so good I was bummed when it ended haha. Awesome job!
I really liked how colloquially the innkeeper speaks. It makes this storybook all the more believable. It's easy to imagine an old innkeeper in England telling this story to some of his guests. The fact that you use "the English have no imagination" really drives home the point that the innkeeper is trying to make. It makes the story a lot funnier, too. An inn is a great way to bring in all of these different stories and provide them with a common link (the innkeeper). It's interesting to see how these Jacks are integrated in the universe of your story. They're not just tales, but actual people. Overall, I think this a really good storybook. The way you set it up was nice, since I could easily imagine an English inn in which lots of people come and tell their stories.
Maria, I chose to read your storybook because your description was very well written and sounded intriguing. I never would have thought to create a series of stories with different characters named Jack, but it was a very good idea and I wish I had the chance to read more of your writing! The first thing I noticed is how you really personify the characters through your writing. I like how you use slang and write how the people would have spoken. You also set the setting very well and made sure to include details about the characters. I can tell that you have written before and the words you use describe the characters perfectly for the reader. I feel like I am in the story!! You also include a good balance of dialogue and the story itself in your writing. I have noticed that a lot of people don’t like to write dialogue, but you do a great job of also telling your story through your dialogue. Great job!!
Hello, Maria!
ReplyDeleteI really like the beginning line. How did they come to this conclusion? I am immediately interested in reading the rest of your introduction.
I love that you keep asserting the same thing- that the English have no imagination. It keeps the reader interested in just why the main character believes that.
This is a really cool intro, and really sets up for a cool storybook! The image is great too, and really allows me to better depict the characters and the scenery. I love this period of time and I think there are a lot of cool things you could do with it!
The only suggestion I would make is about the layout of the site- it's kind of hard to read the words because of the font style and size. I like that the style goes with the theme of the story, though, so maybe play around and see if there is a similar font with better readability!
Great job!!
Emily
I love the opening line here and how you continue to tie it in throughout your story. It gives good initial desire to read the story and then continues to show up throughout the story reminding us of the reason we're reading it. There was very good description throughout the story and you made the tavern come to life in your words. A few suggestions I would give are first; I might add a little more length to a few of your paragraphs just to give more description within each one. This will add to the story and give your reader a better imagination as to what is happening. Also the format of the story made it very difficult to read. I understand what you are doing because it definitely fits the story, but for the sake of the reader I might change it to make it easier on our eyes. Overall I loved the story and think it can become even better if you make a few little changes.
ReplyDeleteHey Maria, I really like the setup of your story book. Out of the ones I have seen so far yours really uses the background and general setup of the website to tie into the theme of your story book. One thing I found especially interesting about your setup was how your introduction was not straight forward in its description. It was neat how you jumped right into the style of writing for this theme. I also liked the details you specifically listed throughout the introduction about what the setting might look like. For example, the game of blackjack occurring in the corner was something that I could really imagine. Once, I read through the introduction I was able to fully see the potential of this storybook and where you are going to be able to take it. Lastly, I think once readers understand the introduction it will help set the frame work for imagining the plot and setting of future stories. Thanks for sharing and I am interested to see how this storybook progresses in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Maria,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a really good job writing this introduction. I like how you continued to restate the theme throughout the introduction to get your point across. And I also really liked how you are telling the introduction through the first person instead of third person. It made me feel like I was going to be a part of the story. Something you did a really good job doing was making the introduction intentionally vague. It doesn't come right out and tell the reader exactly what to expect, it makes them think about it and figure it out themselves. The setup of your site is really cool! The images you used really portray what the story is going to be about, and the background reminds me of an old wooden inn. I think that your storybook will be very interesting and I can't wait to read your first story!
Maria,
ReplyDeleteI like how you have the inn keeper recalling the events that transpire, it sets up a very clear storytelling structure for the reader. But, because we don't see the story through the eyes of an infallible narrator, you still have room to surprise the reader with things later on. I also like how you focus on describing the various types of people in the tavern. It makes since that the innkeeper would spend a lot of his day people watching, and you do a good job setting it up while he thinks about his end of day "listening" routine. Finally, your repetition of "The English have no imagination" is leading me to believe that some of the English people in this story are going to be shocked by something very soon.
Thanks so much for sharing, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. You have a great idea, good luck with finishing the rest of your storybook.
Andrew Wright
I really like how you took on a persona in your introduction. It gives it a lot of character right off the bat. It also reads more like the person is sitting here telling me the story instead of me reading the words. I am confused why he is saying that the English have no imagination. Maybe I just missed something. The idea of using an innkeeper to tell the stories is a really good idea!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story a lot! I like your writing style and the way you described what was going on in the story. I was sad for the farmer too at first but I like how he got his things back and more in the end. I’m a fan of happy stories.
What if you wrote your stories like how you wrote your introduction? I think it would add another dimension to the story, especially if you wrote it with introjections from the innkeeper (kind of like in the movie Princess Bride). Overall, really good job! I’ll be back to read more!
Great introduction and story! In the introduction I loved how you kept the central theme throughout the story, “the English have no imagination.” It really helped your writing flow and tie-in what your story was about. It also helped to present the man that was doing the narration! It made me wonder how well this man knew Jack! Moving into your first story, I really liked how you presented the character of Jack! He reminded me of a trickster-younger brother, who was always getting into trouble. I liked how you had Jack show off his skills to his would-be “apprentices,” and then turned the tables on the men in the end. I thought it was a great ending and the perfect thing for a trickster, like Jack to do! I did not expect him to give the animals back to the farmer that was a nice surprised and presented Jack as a robin-hood character! I am interested to see what other adventures jack will get into throughout the stories!
ReplyDeleteMaria!!
ReplyDeleteThe title of your storybook is incredible, It truly lured me in and peaked my interest! The introduction sets the tone of what the storybook is going to be about and it is the first time the reader gets a taste of what the author's voice and tonality is like. I believe you nailed it with the way you set the scene and in the word choices you strategically made. I enjoyed that you made the central character an innkeeper, if anyone is going to have an abundance of stories back in the day I would imagine it to be the innkeeper. No telling who is going to walk in.
Your first story presented the character of jack very well! As I continued reading I found myself wishing the story was expressed in the same manner as the introduction was. Your intro had such charm and charisma that I would encourage you to put into the rest of your stories!
Overall, incredible job! Looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Hi Maria! Your introduction was great. The layout of your blog made me think of an old pub (or an inn) with wooden walls and yellow decor. I thought your image choice was also very beneficial to the vibe of your storybook. As for the content of your introduction, I thought that was good too. The repetition of "the English have no imagination..." helped intrigue the reader as to why they had no imagination. I liked reading about the ongoings of the inn after hours and seeing how the innkeeper felt about what happened from day to day. I thought you also did a good job of leading into your first story by ending the introduction with a sort of cliff hanger/ start to a story about Jack the thief.
ReplyDeleteYour first story was great. I don't think your amateur abilities hindered the clarity of his cleverness at all. I was in awe of your word choice and I am grateful for the links to definitions of the words I didn't know. I thought you did a good job with the dialogue as well and I think it made the story even better. Since you wanted to tell the story of Jack and his bride, I wonder if you could take a spin off of that for your next story. I mean the innkeeper does say that all the adventurers are named Jack. I have no idea how your storybook is set to continue, it is just a suggested solution to that problem that you faced. Overall, I thought you did a good job with the story. There weren't any problems that I saw and I was thoroughly intrigued throughout its entirety. I know critical comments help make writing better, but I honestly can't think of any. Good Job!
Hey Maria!
ReplyDeleteI love your introduction. You drew me in right away with that first line. Simple but impactful. That's the kind of writing I like. You do a great job setting the scene for your storybook here. Everything from the layout you've chosen to your writing style paints a picture for the reader.
I really enjoyed the two stories you've added here as well. I don't think that retelling them in your own voice takes away from the original at all! It's fun to read things from different perspectives, and reading your version made me want to go back and read the original! I also like that your stories have a similar string tying them together but they aren't so involved with one another that it's impossible to enjoy them independently.
This is some great work, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it!
Maria
ReplyDeleteI really liked the tone that you used throughout this story! The repetition of that same phrase was great and I thought it was interesting that you used the genuine terminology and just hyperlinked to the definition. It had a very professional retelling to it. Throughout the story and even in the introduction I had thought that Jack was going to be a cunning thief and be negative towards the world. I like that you chose instead to portray him as a cleve thief but with a heart of gold kind of like Aladdin! I did not expect for him to return the animals to the farmer and I hope that the rest of the stories in your storybook have plot twists at the end as well. It definitely juxtaposed the introduction where the narrator was saying that the English have no imagination and insulting that none of them were original. This was quite the opposite since Jack was very unoriginal in how he handled the whole situation.
Maria,
ReplyDeleteAs far as your introduction goes, I loved it! I think the way you repeated the phrase about the English having no imagination was brilliant. It was clever, and kept me hooked throughout! I also think it sets the tone for your stories really well. The tone you use throughout feels very genuine and in tune with the tales you tell, and your word choice is excellent! I think a lot of the quips you use in your story are really entertaining, like " though how many I couldn’t tell you, Jack having had the whitest hair I’ve ever seen." That gave me a good laugh! The appearance of your storybook is great as well. I think the color scheme is very fitting. Even your images fit this theme well, helping bring your theme together! I thoroughly enjoyed your story, and can't think of anything you might change! Good job; keep it up!
Wow, Maria! This is such a creative storybook. You are a terrific writer and really keep the audience drawn in the entire time. I really like your theme, too! The wooden background really makes it rustic and sets the tone well. I liked that you kept saying the English have no imagination. By the third time I read it I had definitely caught on! You are so creative. This is some of the most creative writing I have read in this class so far. I like how you portrayed Jack. He really is a jack of all trades! I think you have an awesome storybook so far. Your stories are captivating and keep the reader interested throughout all of the stories. This is also super random and not important, but I like how you space out your paragraphs. It makes it easier to read when it’s not all in one block! Haha not sure if that makes any sense at all. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Maria,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that your story is simply fantastic, you have very good skills of writing. I really liked that you add a lot of creativity in your writing, it makes the reading so much more interesting. It is also very nice to see all the descriptive details you add, it really makes me go into your story. It is very enjoyable to see how clever Jack is and how he was able to use his cleverness. One thing also I noticed was the layout of your storybooks, the quality and the color of your background makes it even more appealing. I feel this makes it look very organized and it puts your reader in very good conditions. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to your future story.
Ah, my gosh, you’ve got such a fun concept here. I love how you’ve taken something meta and grounded it with this grizzled innkeeper (whose voice is perfect, by the way), so it’s this sly wink that doesn’t distract from the stories themselves too much. The details in the introduction are spot-on, too: it was so easy to imagine the different types of people that passed through the inn. And the guy who told the same story seven times, with seven different endings? So, so great. I actually laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteI was really excited to see that the narrator from the introduction would be telling all the stories, because I genuinely loved him. Cunning Jack was an actual joy to read about: you pulled off the fairytale “cycle of threes” trope really nicely, showing him trick everyone three different times without it feeling repetitive. Speaking of which, you did an excellent job of finding differently paced Jack stories, so each one feels fresh and none of them blur together. (Side note: Giant-Killing Jack is officially my hero, for his comeback right before he defeated the giant.) I’d never read anything like the setup for the third story, so your author’s note there was particularly interesting, and I love how Jack managed to best the farmer without actually disobeying him.
Anyways, it’s probably obvious, but I really enjoyed your storybook. The way the narrator is his own distinct character and ties all the stories together is very nice, and I’m a huge fan of all of the Jacks so far.
This is a really cool way to tell the stories AND a cool way to bring some stories together. I mean, bringing them together because of the main character's name? Way cool.
ReplyDeleteI really loved how you set up your Introduction. It really draws the reader in and sets up the manner in which you tell the stories nicely. There's really beautiful imagery; I can really see the bar he's describing. And your use of repetition is really quite nice. It adds a kind of beautiful literary element to this descriptive element you have going.
My first thought when I started to read the Cunning Thief story is that I wished there had been a little more go-between from the barkeep introduction to the storytelling. You have that really nice line at the end of your Introduction page that kind of teases at the Cunning Thief story, but I found myself wanting that at the beginning of the story, or something more there. However, you supply this quite nicely in the Giant Killer introduction, so maybe if it were in the Cunning Thief page as well it would be overdone.
Other than that, I think the voice from which you tell these stories is really nice. It's funny, witty and honestly refreshing. It kind of gives the reader another character to learn about without giving a description or storyline about him or her. I love this Storybook!
Your storybook is not only an interesting theme, but it is also a unique one. I have read a lot of storybooks that mainly revolve around a specific aspect of the storyteller’s life. I like that you picked a topic that was related to the readings of this class. First off, I want to say that I really like the physical appearance of your storybook. It relates well to your theme while also not being too busy or hard to read/follow. Second, I wanted to say that your writing is very impressive. It was funny, creative, and also very mature. You were able to add in humor, while also keeping the writing professional. You also kept it in the same style as the original story, which was nice. I also like that you added multiple pictures in the “Jack the Giant Killer” story so that the reader has a visual image of the giants in which the story is about.
ReplyDeleteYour stories are really very charming. I love them all. Although I agree with your author's note on the first one, I would have loved it if you had added a few more of your own twists and thoughts into it, but I honestly really liked the story the way it was. With the other two, it does appear you changed them up a bit more so I hope you're satisfied with them. They were very fun to read and very well written.
ReplyDeleteYou said you weren't as impressed with the third story but really I think it was one of my favorites. I love your running theme of each Jack being someone who just outsmarts their own situations in a funny, clever way. It's really more entertaining than sword fighting and castle sieges I think.
Hey Maria I'm back and just got done reading Jack the Giant-Killer. Once again, I am amazed at how good you are at writing in the tone and style that was spoken back in those times. It makes the story sound so professional and authentic! Also, it was cool to read a story that i remember reading as a kid. I always love revisiting old fairytales and stories. Reading them as an adult opens your eyes to so many different aspects of the story that you may have missed as a kid. You did a good job keeping the pub owner as the narrator but also incorporating dialogue between Jack and the Giant. I never got confused he was speaking or what time frame the story was taking place in and that can be a hard thing to do. Quite frankly, I really don't have any critiques or things I would change about your story. The only thing was that it was so good I was bummed when it ended haha. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how colloquially the innkeeper speaks. It makes this storybook all the more believable. It's easy to imagine an old innkeeper in England telling this story to some of his guests. The fact that you use "the English have no imagination" really drives home the point that the innkeeper is trying to make. It makes the story a lot funnier, too. An inn is a great way to bring in all of these different stories and provide them with a common link (the innkeeper). It's interesting to see how these Jacks are integrated in the universe of your story. They're not just tales, but actual people. Overall, I think this a really good storybook. The way you set it up was nice, since I could easily imagine an English inn in which lots of people come and tell their stories.
ReplyDeleteMaria,
ReplyDeleteI chose to read your storybook because your description was very well written and sounded intriguing. I never would have thought to create a series of stories with different characters named Jack, but it was a very good idea and I wish I had the chance to read more of your writing!
The first thing I noticed is how you really personify the characters through your writing. I like how you use slang and write how the people would have spoken. You also set the setting very well and made sure to include details about the characters. I can tell that you have written before and the words you use describe the characters perfectly for the reader. I feel like I am in the story!! You also include a good balance of dialogue and the story itself in your writing. I have noticed that a lot of people don’t like to write dialogue, but you do a great job of also telling your story through your dialogue. Great job!!