Showing posts with label Week 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Week 2. Show all posts

Sunday, September 4, 2016

My Feedback Thoughts

It was interesting reading these articles.  Historically I'm probably not very good at receiving feedback, or, more specifically, at receiving constructive criticism.  It's good to be reminded that it's normal to feel uncomfortable when receiving less than glowing feedback.

However, another interesting thing was seeing the concept of receiving feedback framed in such a different context than I am used to seeing it.  I felt as though these articles mainly focused on how to use feedback while maintaining a healthy self-esteem.  I have been accustomed to thinking of it as more an issue of humility.  I don't mean down-on-yourself, I'm-not-as-good-as-everyone-else type humility.  I mean a humility that abandons self-bias.  C. S. Lewis talks (I think in the Screwtape Letters?) about a humility that makes a man able to rejoice in skills or a job well done equally whether it belongs to him or his neighbor: his joy is not the more because the skill is his, but just because it is his he does not underestimate its value.  Developing that sort of humility, rather than simply trying to bolster our own self-esteem all the time, seems conducive to accepting feedback with grace.

Another quick thought I had was about the idea of "emotional first aid" as talked about in "Why rejection hurts so much -- and what to do about it."  Winch talks about boosting your feelings of self-worth through listing meaningful qualities you possess, such as having a good work ethic.  In other words "remind yourself of your value, which comes from what you do.  If you mess up in those areas, you'd better have some other skill to fall back on, because your worth is based on what you do."  Or at least that's how it felt to me.  It seemed like a horribly depressing and rather unhealthy thing to fall back on, actually.  I don't want to be defined by what I'm good or bad at.



Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Story: Watching from the Wall



The rumor of his coming hurried before him. Hector was returned to the city, weary from the heat of battle. Anxious wives and mothers pressed upon him, asking for news of loved ones, but he had none to give and bid them only pray. Hecuba waited with bated breath and a fearful heart for her eldest son to arrive at the steps of the palace.

“Why are you come, my son? What brings you from the battle? Have a seat. I will bid them fetch wine.”

But he shook her off. “Nay, woman. I cannot tarry or cloud my head. I have only come to fetch Paris and summon him back to the front where he belongs, and then I must return. Mother, I could almost wish that Menelaus had killed him, for the evil he has brought upon Troy, or better yet, that he had never been born. His dishonor dishonors us all.”

And he was gone, swift on his errand. Hecuba followed him with her eyes, praying for both her sons, and feeling the truth of his words, and lamenting for the rift between her children.

Once he had disappeared, she turned toward the wall where she knew Priam to be watching the fray, and made her way towards him, to while away the endless hours together. He glanced at her with weary eyes and reached for her hand, then turned back to look down from the turret.

“What news did Hector bring from the front?”

“None that we did not know: only that our younger son is a coward who must be fetched in order to fight in the battle he himself brought upon us,” she replied emptily.

Priam did not respond, but his expression soured as he scoured the fields. And there was Hector at the gate! And there again, shortly thereafter, was Paris, to rejoin his men. And there stood the king and queen of Troy in silence, watching their people and their sons, as the battle wore on.

Hecuba had felt the anguish of battle many times over: the constant throb of terror, the exhilaration as Trojans surged forward, nausea as they were beaten back. Her spent nerves muted it all to a dull ache, and she watched for hours, unfeelingly. Then he came. Achilles had reentered the fray, and she felt afresh a horror for her sons, as even Hector fled before him. And Sarpedon, a fool to stand and fight, had fallen before him! And there was Hector again, to recover noble Sarpedon’s body. Hecuba felt dismay and pride writhing within her, as one screamed at Hector to flee and the other to hold his ground. And Achilles slew man after man, but now he stumbled, and his helmet had fallen to the ground. And there was Hector, spearing Achilles to the dust, and his mother gave a triumphant cry, “Rejoice, oh King, for Achilles is fallen!”

But Priam shook his head. “Twas Patroclus. A mighty man was he, but not so mighty as Achilles.”

And her heart fell, and they returned to the watch. But now a battle raged over the body of Patroclus, and yet another mighty warrior appeared. The Greeks gave a great cry, and Hecuba’s heart lurched, knowing that no man but Achilles could be so great and masterful. Priam groaned lowly, then called a guard. He said “Bid them keep the lower gate open, that our men may find sanctuary behind the walls if they need.”

And indeed the need was great. Achilles routed the Trojans before him, and soon they streamed through the gate in a whelming flood. And once it seemed that all were inside, in great confusion and haste they prepared to close the gates, without waiting or caring to see that all were safe.

But Priam cried out with his hands towards the gate, “My son, my son, do not think to battle this man, for he will slay you! Go into the city, and preserve her hope!” He had seen Hector waiting at the gate, preparing to challenge the great Achilles, and Hecuba wailed, “My child, have mercy on me! Do not wait for him, my pride and my joy!” but she saw that he would not be moved, and she collapsed, and would not lift up her eyes, and heard the slam of the gate. She heard the crowd roaring, and Priam gasped out, “He flees, and Achilles is pursuing, faster than a hawk pursues a field mouse.” It seemed that she lay there for endless hours, and then a great cheer went up from the city and she could no longer bear it. Hecuba opened her eyes and turned to watch, and there, wonder of wonders, was Deïphobus, standing with Hector! Hope sprang back into her chest as they stood to face the great foe. Achilles launched his spear, but missed. Hector’s aim was true, but Achilles deflected the spear with his shield, and now Hector cried for another. But, Deïphobus was gone, and along with him hope! Indeed he had never been there, for Athena had cheated Hecuba’s son, appearing to him as a friend. And Achilles rushed at Hector like a lion, and Hector met him, and Hector fell.

His mother’s mind turned dark, and she dropped to the ground. Her son, her son, her pride and her joy.
(Achilles Slays Hector, by Peter Paul Rubens)

Author's Note:  This is based on the Iliad.  I haven't changed the actual events very much, other than cutting some things out in order to compress the narrative a bit.  The main difference is in my focus.  The original Iliad keeps its focus primarily on Hector, Achilles, or the primary battle.  We know of Hector's parents only as they relate to him (at least from what I read).  I wanted to focus in on them a bit more, because it seemed to me that their position was heartbreaking.  Their sons are going to this awful battle that one of them caused through his own greed and foolishness, and their better son turns to fight the greatest warrior of the age.  They think him to be rescued by a friend, but then the friend disappears and their hope is gone.  That sounds confusing and horrible.



Monday, August 29, 2016

Reading Notes: Homer's Iliad, Part B


· I really like the idea of writing a lament for Patroclus from the point of view of Achilles. After all, if he had been there his friend may well not have died. I need to ask about writing poetry.

· It’s a big deal to get the spoils of your enemy, even while you are yet in the heat of battle.

· Back to the idea of focusing in on some random, less important warrior: I could tell things from the point of view of Antilōchus, who brought the news of Patroclus’ death to Achilles.

· Achilles’ mother (Thetis) knows that the hour that Hector dies is also the hour when Achilles will die. How does she know that? Could I write a prequel that explains that?

· For the life of him, Zeus can’t seem to decide what side he’s on.

· Apollo is on the side of Troy. Athena is for the Greeks. I think that now that Achilles has rejoined the fight Zeus is probably for the Greeks. Hera is for the Greeks. It’s so strange.

· Agēnor is a hero of Troy, who turned to fight Achilles and was rescued by Apollo, who lifted him up and set him on the wall, then took his shape and fled before Achilles. I could write a story from his perspective. That would be a confusing thing to have happen (and upsetting, if you were trying to protect your honor by not fleeing).

· NO, NOT HECTOR!!!

· His father, Priam, sees Hector’s great danger, and groans and cries out. Once again, I could write a story focusing on the parents of Paris and Hector. There would probably be a lot of feeling and emotion (and heart-rending) in it.

· When Achilles is chasing Hector, there’s a beautiful figure of speech. It talks about how they’re not running for some sheep, or shield, or similar prize, but rather for the life of Hector.

· Athena tricks and betrays Hector :(. Once again, I could write from the perspective of his parents, watching from the walls, seeing Deïphobus appear, and then disappear again, and knowing their son will die.

· With the help of Zeus and Hermes, Priam can then ransom the body of Hector.


Reading Notes: Homer's Iliad, Part A



My notes are on part A of the Iliad unit.


· It’s unclear how Helen felt about being carried off

· The Greeks needed supplies so they started sacking other cities. Poor other cities :(.

· I could write about how Agamemnon took the priest’s daughter, and the priest tried to ransom her back.

· I could tell the story from the point of view of the scepter that Achilles broke

· They are so proud, vindictive, and vengeful.

· I could write a story about the drama that happens on Mount Olympus between Zeus and Hera

· Wow, Zeus is scary and violent.

· Hephaestus is cool, though.

· I could write about Queen Hecuba (mother of Paris and Hector), and about how she feels about her son’s choice and the bad feelings between her children.

· Or from Andromache’s point of view (wife of Hector). He’s super cool and honorable thus far, unlike the others.

· Awww he loves and respects his wife. That’s good. I could write their love story.

· Wow, he loves his son too, but they don’t think he’ll ever come back home. This is kind of heartbreaking.

· Ajax, Phoenix, and Ulysses went to talk to Achilles.

· Am I allowed to write poetry? What if I wrote the petition to bring Achilles back as a poem?

· Patroclus pretends to be Achilles, to defend the ships.

· I could write about Hector and his men, when they ran before Patroclus as he pretended to be slain, and then Sarpēdon’s friend accused him of abandoning his allies.

· I could just invent some random warrior on one of the sides who watches as the battles happen, and feels jubilation and terror and despair at various times. Maybe he has a wife at home, too.

· I could switch up which gods want what. They’re so fickle and weird.

· Apollo effectively killed Patroclus, but Hector dealt the final blow.

· Patroclus and Hector talk as Patroclus dies, and Patroclus predicts Hector’s death at the hands of Achilles.


Bibliography: Homer's Iliad retold by A. J. Church; found here.